Love on Fire (Stars Book 2)

  Love on Fire

  Stars #2

  E. L. Todd

  Hartwick Publishing

  Love on Fire

  Copyright © 2019 by E. L. Todd

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  1

  Charlotte

  Summer turned into fall, and it was the longest period of my life. Time passed so slowly, every day feeling like an eternity. When Neil returned, we would only be friends…but I missed him like crazy anyway. He had become such an integral part of my life, and when he wasn’t there, I felt lost.

  I sat across the table from Max, a guy I’d met at the gym. We’d flirted back and forth then he asked me to dinner. We went to a taco bar with the best chips and salsa in Texas, but the food couldn’t make up for the boring date.

  Max wasn’t my type.

  He was a lot more vocal in the gym, but now he seemed to have forgotten how to speak.

  “So, were you born in Texas?”

  He finished chewing his chip before he nodded. “Yeah.”

  This had to be the dullest conversation of my life. “Yeah, me too.” Thanks for asking.

  He was a handsome guy with a fit body, but everything else about him was boring. If I were just looking for sex, he still wouldn’t have fit the bill because there was no chemistry. I wasn’t sure if he was just nervous now that we were face-to-face…or maybe he didn’t know how to talk to anyone unless he was flirting.

  My phone started to ring, and Stacy’s name was on the screen. I picked it up, not to be rude, but to explain to her now wasn’t the best time. “Hey, Stacy. I’m on a date right now. Can I call you back?”

  Max kept eating the chips, watching me with an expressionless face.

  “No. I really need to talk to you.”

  “Uh…is everything okay?” I didn’t tell her to pull this stunt, to call when the date was going bad so I could ditch. Maybe she just sensed it? We were best friends, so it was possible… Maybe she could read my mind.

  “No. I just found out some terrible news… I thought you’d want to know.”

  An image of Neil’s handsome face popped into my mind. What if something happened at the station at the moon? What if something went wrong? What if he was in trouble? “Is Neil okay?”

  “It’s not about Neil.”

  “Oh, thank god.” My hand moved across my chest, right over my heart. “Then, what is it?”

  “It’s actually about Cameron…”

  “Okay…” Was he in a car accident? Did something happen? He wasn’t my husband anymore, our divorce papers had been finalized a long time ago, so I wasn’t his emergency contact. I wasn’t the one legally responsible for his health care needs. If something really happened to him, I didn’t know how Stacy would know about it before I did.

  “I guess he lost the baby…”

  The woman carrying his child was so far along, at least eight months pregnant. They probably already had the baby’s room ready. They already picked out names. They were expecting a wonderful addition to their family…but now it wouldn’t happen. All the pain I felt when the doctor told me I was barren came rushing back. I understood how painful that was…and no one should have to suffer through it. “Thanks for letting me know.”

  I parked on the sidewalk in front of the house where I used to live. Cameron and I used to sit on the front porch and drink lemonade as we watched the fireflies light up the night sky. The early years of our marriage were magical, when we were newlyweds who believed we would be together forever.

  I walked up the sidewalk with the flowers laid across my arm. When my feet hit the wooden porch, I heard the old echo I used to notice every day when Cameron came home from work. Summer was coming to a close and fall was slowly approaching, but I could still feel the Texas heat in the air, the humidity that made you sweat constantly. Whenever people came to visit, they couldn’t stand it…but I loved it.

  I rang the doorbell.

  After nearly a minute, footsteps sounded on the hardwood floor inside. Judging from the gait, it was Cameron. I still remembered the exact sound of his footsteps, where the wood used to creak in the right places.

  He opened the door, clearly surprised to see me standing there with an arrangement of flowers. He pushed the screen door open and stepped farther outside, wearing jeans and a t-shirt. His brown hair was messy, like he hadn’t showered in a couple of days. His normally tanned skin suddenly looked gray, sickly.

  I could see his depression so clearly, see the way this was haunting him. He looked worse than I’d ever seen him, worse than when the doctors told us I couldn’t have children. He looked like he’d lost the entire world.

  It would be easy for me to be angry, for me to see this as revenge. Maybe karma was at work. But even my greatest enemy didn’t deserve this kind of pain. I felt terrible for Cameron and the woman he was with. I was devastated to learn I couldn’t have children. I couldn’t imagine the pain of being pregnant for nine months and then losing that child. It was wrong…so wrong.

  He stared at me with pain in his eyes, as if he didn’t know how to interact with me because he was still delirious.

  “I wanted you guys to have this…” I held out the large arrangement of flowers. “I’m so sorry…”

  He took the flowers without looking at them.

  There was nothing I could say to make him feel better, nothing I could say to make this situation seem less severe. Maybe coming here hadn’t been a good idea. Maybe the pain was too raw for him right now. I just wanted him to know that I cared, that I was sorry that this happened. “I’m here if you two need anything…” I didn’t even know her first name. All I knew was she was a pretty brunette who had been sleeping with my husband when he was still my husband. Anyone else would have been happy this terrible thing happened to them, but that wasn’t me.

  He finally glanced at the flowers before he looked at me again. “Thank you…”

  “Is she doing okay?” I felt bad for referring to her like that, but I had no idea what her name was.

  “Vivian just came home from the hospital. She’s resting…”

  “Is she going to be okay?”

  “Yeah, she’ll be fine. Just needs to rest for a week or so.”

  I didn’t ask how it happened, if their baby had been stillborn. It didn’t matter anyway. Miscarriages were common, unfortunately. “Well, I’m just a phone call away if you need something.” I turned away and left him on the doorstep as I headed to my truck. It gave me no pleasure seeing his sadness.

  “Char.”

  I hadn’t heard him call me that in a year. I stopped at the bottom of the stairs and turned around.

  He set the flowers on the table then followed me down the porch.

  I crossed my arms over my chest and looked at him, unsure what he would say. I didn’t come here to provoke a conversation. I just wanted him to know that I was there for him, that I would always be there for him even if he wasn’t there for me.

  “I don’t know what to say…” He slid his hands into his front pockets.

  “You don’t need to say anything, Cameron. I just came here to give my condolences. Nothing else.”

  He bowed his head and sighed.

  It was never my intention to make him feel guilty, to prove anything. Love was the only thing that drove me to that house. “You should go inside and be with Vivian. Goodnight, Cameron.” I turned away before he could say anything else. It wasn’t my place to linger because that house wasn’t my home anymore.

/>   His voice followed me. “Goodnight, Char.”

  Kyle sat across from me at the table. We’d decided to get dinner after work, heading to our favorite Thai place. He was in dark jeans and a blue collared shirt, his white jacket remaining in his locker at the hospital. His short blond hair was slightly curly at the ends, and his tanned skin complimented his masculine features well. He was a pretty man, and women were chasing him all the time.

  He used his chopsticks to grab a pile of noodles. “After what that asshole did to you, I’m surprised you went over there.”

  “I’ve never been one to hold a grudge.” I stirred the noodles and didn’t take a bite.

  “It’s not about holding a grudge. This is your ex-husband, the guy who abandoned you because you couldn’t get pregnant.”

  “If he were in a bad car accident, no one would blink an eye if I were there.”

  “I would. That guy doesn’t deserve any compassion from you.”

  “Come on, Kyle.” I knew he acted like a heartless, tough man, but there was more depth to him than that.

  “I’m serious. He slept with that woman before he left you—and he got her pregnant.”

  “I know…”

  “So I don’t think he deserved flowers and a condolence. That was karma.”

  “Kyle, don’t say that.” The person who was hurt the most was an innocent baby. That definitely wasn’t karma. That was a travesty. “I wish it hadn’t happened. I wish they’d had a healthy baby and were happy.”

  Kyle looked at me like I was crazy. “You can’t be serious.”

  “I am serious. I know Cameron was an asshole for what he did, but life is short and he should do whatever makes him happy. If he wants to have a child the natural way, then he should do it. If I’m not what he really wants, I’d rather know while I’m still young.”

  He shook his head slightly. “That’s a very mature thing to say…but I still think you’re crazy.”

  “I’ve spent almost a year mourning my loss. I’m tired of wasting more time on that man. I just want to move on…and be happy.”

  He took a few bites of his food, his eyes on me the entire time. “So…does that mean you’re ready for a serious relationship?”

  “Uh…not really. I just had a terrible date with a guy named Max. The dating world exhausts me. I’ve finally put myself back together, and I don’t want to get shattered again even if I do find someone. I want to be like you, just have fun without worrying about my future.”

  He let his chopstick lean against the side of his bowl as he looked at me. “I don’t have fun because I don’t want a wife and kids someday. I have fun because I haven’t found the woman I want all of those things with.”

  “Really?” I asked. “I’ve never gotten that impression from you.”

  “Then maybe you don’t know me very well.”

  “You just don’t talk about the woman you’re seeing very often.”

  He shrugged. “When there’s something to talk about, I’ll talk about it.”

  I grabbed a piece of chicken with my chopsticks and placed it into my mouth.

  “Just because Cameron shattered your heart doesn’t mean the next guy will. I wouldn’t even call that guy a man. There are real men out there, men who will be loyal and committed to their woman until it kills them.” He rested his elbows on the table and watched me. “Don’t let Cameron ruin a future you haven’t even had a chance to experience.”

  Neil was the first guy I’d met who made me feel comfortable. He was honest and kind, becoming a part of my family without being in my life very long. He was handsome, smart, and built like a brick house. Being something more with him didn’t seem so scary, but that was never going to happen. We didn’t want the same things…and we were just friends. That meant I had to give someone else a try. “I guess I just need more time. I went on a date with a guy the other night…so damn boring. There was a spark at the gym when we were flirting back and forth, but when we sat down together, it was the most awkward thing in the world. We had nothing to talk about.”

  “Maybe he just wasn’t the right guy.”

  “He definitely wasn’t the right guy…” My mind wandered back to those late nights when Neil and I would get a Slurpee at the gas station. I would drive him home, or he would come over to my place. The sex was great, even better than it had been with Cameron, and that closeness had been there too…that intimacy. But Neil was a man I could never have, so I didn’t even bother entertaining the idea. I did miss him, though. He’d been gone for almost three months, and I had no contact with him. I wondered how his work was going, if he was safe. I wondered if he thought about me…or he’d forgotten about me the second his rocket achieved lift-off.

  “Then keep looking for the right guy. I know he’s out there.”

  I shrugged. “Yeah…maybe.” Even if I could find the right guy, I would never believe in forever. Every relationship had an expiration date; every relationship had its breaking point. Cameron and I were the happiest couple in the world…until tragedy struck. It divided us so deeply.

  Kyle continued to watch me with his sky blue eyes. He didn’t say a single word, but he didn’t need to. He could read my emotions well, understand me the way Stacy did. He understood when I was harboring pain and trying to pretend it wasn’t happening. His eyes shifted back and forth slightly, his broad shoulders relaxed. “He’s out there, Char. I promise you.”

  2

  Charlotte

  “I would have shoved those flowers up his ass.” Stacy sat across from me at the dining table in her kitchen.

  I swirled my large glass of wine and took a big drink, my eyes slightly lidded because I was already a bit buzzed.

  “No, you wouldn’t. If this were Vic, you would have done no such thing.”

  “You bet your ass, I would. If the love of my life did that to me, I would never get over it. Imagining Vic with another woman…” She shook her head. “I would lose my shit. I would turn into a psycho ex that never quits.”

  I didn’t take her response seriously because I was absorbed in that bottle of wine. “Vic would never do that to you, so you have nothing to worry about.”

  “I would have said the same about Cameron…”

  He used to look at me like he was deeply in love with me, that slight softening of his eyes that was so easy to read. I never doubted his love for me, never worried about him going out with his friends because he was so loyal. But all of that changed when the circumstances were different. “Yeah, but Vic is a better man.” Maybe I’d been wrong about Cameron. Maybe I was so deeply under the veil of infatuation that I’d viewed the world unrealistically. “And I wasn’t always this calm. When things first went down, I was livid. You remember…”

  “But that didn’t last long. You turned depressed and just stayed there.”

  And I was still there now.

  “And the date didn’t go well?”

  I shook my head. “He’s cute but dull.”

  “That’s too bad. Did you get laid?”

  “No. I left to see Cameron afterward. And even if you hadn’t called me, I still wouldn’t have gone home with him. Not enough chemistry. Not enough anything.”

  “Being single…it sucks.”

  I didn’t remember it being this hard because I settled down with Cameron. I continued to drink my red wine and not let my thoughts wander to the man stationed on the moon. Sometimes I googled him late at night just to look at his picture—not because I was having a date with my vibrator, but because I just missed those brown eyes and kind smile. I missed my friend. Every time I thought about him, the hole inside my chest got bigger…the void stretching infinitely.

  “Have the sellers responded to your offer yet?”

  There was a house I was interested in just outside Houston. It was a three-bedroom house with a reasonable backyard for Torpedo. It also had the wraparound porch that I told my real estate agent was a requirement. “No. But I didn’t go far under the asking price. It sho
uld work out. And if they do accept my offer, I can move in immediately.”

  “I hope so. Such a beautiful place.”

  After I’d heard about Cameron’s tragedy, I lost all my excitement for the new place. All I could think about was his pain. I knew exactly how he felt, to want a family you couldn’t have. “I’ll miss living at Neil’s.”

  “Because of that backyard?”

  I shrugged. “I just like the atmosphere. Even when he’s not there, I can feel him. I can still smell his cologne on the couches, feel his presence when I see his medals on the wall. It’s comforting.”

  With her fingers wrapped around her glass, she watched me with shrewd eyes. “You miss him, don’t you?”

  I could shrug off her question with a lie, but I didn’t feel like pretending. “Yes.”

  “He’ll be home in a week. You think you guys will pick up where you left off?”

  A part of me wished we could be lovers again, tangled up in the sheets together, using each other’s bodies to feel good. He was the best sex I’d ever had, and even if it was ultimately meaningless, it meant the world to me. But he was too important to throw away, to get caught up in a bitter falling-out that made both of us uncomfortable. There was no future with him, just heartbreak. It was best to be friends so he would always be part of my life. I’d probably always have feelings for him, feel a thrill down my spine when he entered the room, but that was better than losing him altogether. “No. We agreed to be friends…and that’s what will happen.”

  Stacy gave me an incredulous look, her eyebrow raised in disbelief. “You really believe that?”

  “Yes. That’s the only option we have. There’s no future together, and if things get messy, it’ll make everything complicated. That’s the last thing either one of us wants. He wants to be a bachelor forever. I want to have a family someday.”

  “So, you do want to get remarried? Because for the last nine months you’ve said otherwise.”