Meant to Be (Forever and Always #12)

  Meant to Be

  This is a work of fiction. All the characters and events portrayed in this novel are fictitious or used fictitiously. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the publisher or author, except in the case of a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review.

  Copyright © 2014 by E. L. Todd

  All Rights Reserved

  ISBN-13: 978-1497369122

  ISBN-10: 1497369126

  Meant to Be

  Book Twelve of the Forever and Always Series

  E. L. Todd

  “Hold on to what you believed

  In the light

  Even when the darkness

  has robbed you of all your sight.”

  Hold on to what you Believe

  -Mumford and Sons-

  1

  Ryan

  Janice was still pissed at me.

  Every time I came home, I feared all her stuff would be gone. The closet would be absent of her belongings, the coffee mug she used every morning would be nowhere in sight, and the bed we shared would be empty. It was my darkest fear. Never in my life had I been so scared.

  But she was so mad, I thought it was a real possibility she would leave. We hadn’t spoken at all. When she came home, she pretended I didn’t exist. That was unusual. When we fought, we would scream at each other until the issue was resolved. She’d never given me the cold shoulder.

  I didn’t know what to do. Every time I opened my mouth to apologize, she stormed out of the room then slammed the door. She was completely shutting me out. What the fuck was I supposed to do? How did I fix this?

  I called Scarlet at the end of my workday. She was my annoying and bratty sister, but I needed her.

  “Hey,” she said in a cheery voice. “What’s up, bro?”

  I’d never heard her talk like that. Her mood had skyrocketed since she and Sean found out they could have children. I was happy for her because she deserves some joy after the despair that wrecked her life, but my patience would only hold on for so long. My world was going to end any day. “Help me.”

  She knew exactly what I meant. “Ryan, I can’t fix this. I’m sorry.”

  “Call her.”

  “Every time I talk to her, she says you aren’t going to be the subject of the conversation. And she doesn’t budge.”

  I sighed. “You’re her best friend. Think of something.”

  “Actually, you are. You know her far better than I do.”

  “Well, she’s not talking to me. She hardly looks at me. Scar, I’m going crazy.”

  “Then make her talk to you.”

  “You think I haven’t tried?” I snapped.

  “Try harder,” she snapped back. “You really fucked this up, Ryan. You better be busting your ass to fix it.”

  “You aren’t helping, brat.”

  “I’m not trying to.”

  I leaned over the counter and covered my face. “I’m afraid I’ll come home one day to an abandoned apartment…”

  Her voice became gentle. “If she hasn’t left yet, she isn’t going to.”

  “There’s no guarantee.”

  “Then make her stay.”

  “Like with flowers?” I was not a flower guy. I didn’t even get her chocolate. The best gift she got from me was a pounding from behind.

  “I don’t know,” Scarlet said. “Just do something nice for her.”

  “I don’t think she’d like that…”

  “Something actually nice,” she said sarcastically.

  “Ugh. Why is this so damn hard?”

  “Take her out to dinner. Or try cooking something.”

  “I can only cook beer,” I spat.

  “That would actually be impressive. Andrew made his own lager and it was pretty good.”

  I glared at her even though she couldn’t see me. “We’re talking about me here, not how perfect Andrew is.”

  Scarlet sighed. “I really don’t know what to say, Ryan.”

  “You think Monnique would help me?”

  She laughed. “After the way you were a total ass to her? Doubtful.”

  I growled.

  “You’re on your own for this one.”

  I was realizing that more and more.

  I went by a flower shop and stared at the selections for twenty minutes. What the hell did she like? Carnations? Roses? What the hell was the difference? I just picked up a boutique and pack of chocolates.

  “Anniversary?” the woman asked while she rang me up.

  “Uh, not really.”

  She smirked. “I see. These are “take me back” flowers.” She chuckled quietly.

  I glared at her and waited for my change. I snatched it away then headed back to the apartment. When I walked inside, she was already home. She sat at the kitchen table with her computer on the surface. A glass of red wine was beside her. She still wore her pencil skirt and blouse like she just got home from work. Her heels were placed by the door. She didn’t look at me.

  I walked over to her than placed the flowers and chocolates on the table. “Hey…” I waited for her to hold the flowers to her nose and take a sniff. I wanted her to melt then give me a beautiful smile.

  She didn’t.

  “Fuck you, Ryan.” She shoved the flowers off the table violently. “You never got me flowers on a good day, so don’t give them to be on a bad day.” She stood up then grabbed her computer. She marched to our bedroom then shut the door.

  God, this sucked.

  Suddenly, she came out again and snatched the chocolates. She walked back into the room.

  Despite the seriousness of the situation, I smirked.

  I walked to the door then tapped my knuckles lightly. “Baby?”

  “Don’t baby me,” she hissed.

  “Let’s get dinner tonight.”

  “You can’t just make everything better by buying me crap I don’t need then taking me to dinner.”

  “Well, you are stuffing your face with the crap you don’t need right now!” I shouldn’t yell but I did.

  “Shut the hell up, asshole.”

  “You shut up!”

  “Go away.”

  I swore then moved back into the living room. I plopped down on the couch then turned the TV up until it was blaring. I brooded for hours, drinking beer and eating left over pizza. There were no hot meals in the house because Janice didn’t cook anymore. She left me to fend for myself, proving another point, I was sure.

  When it was past midnight, she came out and ate the last slice in the box. “Get to bed,” she commanded.

  “No.” I was sick of her bossing me around.

  “I said get to bed.” The threat was in her voice.

  I didn’t get it. I was pissed at her but I couldn’t resist her. It was the oddest thing in the world. “How am I supposed to make this better when you reject everything I do?”

  “Everything you do?” she asked incredulously. “You brought me flowers like I was your wife in the fifties. I’m not a flower girl and you aren’t a flower guy. So how dare you apologize by bringing them to me? There’s no sincerity or meaning in that at all.”

  “You sure liked the chocolates,” I said under my breath.

  Her eyes darkened. “You are going to have to do better than that, Ryan.”

  “I said I was sorry, okay? What more can I do?”

  “An apology isn’t going to make up for the crazy way you acted. After everything we’ve been through, you didn’t trust me. You made everything about yourself and ruined my—”

  “I’m aware of what I did,” I snapp
ed. “I get it. I’m sorry. I’ll say it a hundred times if I have to.”

  “Well, that doesn’t mean shit to me. You need to show me you’re sorry.”

  “Show you? Do you want me to put it on a billboard then point at it?”

  “Stop being an asshole.” She glared at me.

  “Stop being a bitch.”

  Her eyes burned in an inferno. “Sometimes it seems like you don’t want me here.”

  That made my heart stop. “Not at all,” I said quickly. “I’d die if you left. Please don’t go.”

  She turned back to the bedroom. “Get to bed.”

  My anger came back. “Why do you want me to sleep with you if you despise me so much?”

  “Just get to bed!”

  I turned off the TV then walked inside, still shaking with anger.

  Janice pulled off all her clothes then got into bed.

  Whenever she was naked, she wanted to get fucked. But I doubted that’s what her intent was.

  I stripped to my briefs then got beside her in the covers. The king size bed wasn’t wide enough for us. I wanted to be far away from her, not wanting to hear her breathe. I just wanted to be forgiven for what I did. To move on.

  Janice was on me quicker than I could process. Her hands gripped the band of my underwear then yanked them off.

  “What the hell are you doing?” I asked.

  “You want to get laid or not?” she challenged.

  “Not really.”

  She grabbed my shaft and squeezed. Not getting laid in a week and feeling Janice touch me immediately made me hard. “Doesn’t seem like it.”

  Damn it.

  “Now shut up and fuck me.”

  “Why?”

  “I haven’t gotten laid in a week. And I’m horny.”

  “I thought you were pissed at me?” I snapped.

  “I’m more than pissed. Now shut your mouth.”

  “How can you expect me to make love to you like this?” I asked.

  “Make love? Are you a girl?” She moved to her back and pulled me with her. Her legs wrapped around my waist and squeezed me. “Now come on.”

  I wanted to say no but I couldn’t.

  Impatient, she grabbed my shaft and directed it to her entrance. She gripped my hips and pulled me into her, slowly.

  I inhaled deeply when I realized how wet she was. Now I couldn’t stop even if someone pointed a gun to my head. She gripped my back, her nails pushing into my skin so hard, I was sure I was bleeding. She rocked into me, taking me like she needed it. If she wanted me to fuck her, fine. I’d fuck her.

  I grabbed her thighs and pinned them back. Then I slammed into her like I did to all the girls I screwed and never saw again. My hips burned with the speed and my ass clenched with every thrust.

  She clutched me tighter. “Right there…”

  I grabbed the back of her neck then held on as I moved into her hard. I knew she would be sore tomorrow.

  “Yes…” Her head rolled back and her legs shook. “Hmm…”

  Watching her face flushed with heat, I felt the burn between my legs. My cock enlarged, ready to explode deep inside her. She was so sexy when she was under me like this. Even though I was pissed at her, I fucking loved her like a crazy person. With a final grunt, I released inside her, moaning the entire time I depleted myself.

  As soon as I was finished, Janice pulled me out of her then moved to her side of the bed. She turned on her side, her back to me. The blankets were pulled over her shoulder, and she acted like I didn’t exist. I felt used.

  I lay down then stared at the ceiling, feeling the emptiness in my chest. The pain welled inside me. I felt so distant from her, like she wasn’t really mine anymore. I missed the way she’d look at me, like I was her entire world. Her adoration shined bright, putting the sun and stars in shadow. I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Please tell me you still love me,” I whispered. The emotion was still heavy in my throat.

  Janice didn’t react. It was like she hadn’t heard me. I felt her hand grab mine under the sheets and squeeze. “Forever and always.”

  2

  Mike

  Being the psycho person I was, I hired a PI to track Zeal down and bring her to my office. She was fed some bogus story about winning a yacht. Like an idiot, she actually believed him. Whatever.

  I had to make this right between us for Cassandra. She didn’t bring up the ordeal, but I knew it got under her skin. She wanted her friends to like me and I was determined to make that happen. If the gang didn’t like her, it would give me a headache.

  When she walked inside, she was wearing thin jeans and heels. A tight jacket with shiny buttons covered her torso. She approached the desk and her eyes widened when she recognized me.

  “Yuck.” She looked at me like I was a dead skunk in the road.

  I held back my anger. “Thank you for coming.”

  “I didn’t. You tricked me.”

  “Then thank you in advance for staying.” It was so hard not to blow my lid with this catty bitch.

  “Who says I’m staying?”

  I wanted to threaten her to sit the fuck down but I kept my cool. “Please stay for Cassandra. I want to talk to you.”

  She didn’t seem persuaded.

  “Please,” I begged. “There are a few things I’d like to say.”

  “You’re a piece of shit and I’ll always hate you, Mike. You’re wasting your time.”

  “I’d still like to have an adult conversation with you.” Stay calm, Mike. Stay calm.

  “Like you have any capacity of being an adult.” She crossed her arms over her chest.

  I decided to plow through. “I love Cassandra with my whole heart.”

  She rolled her eyes.

  I clenched my jaw. “I’ve been an asshole to every other girl in my life, and I know I was. I’m not making excuses for it or lying about it, but Cassandra is special to me. I don’t treat her that way.”

  “You just give her an STD,” she jabbed.

  “What’s your deal?” I snapped. “I slept with you a year ago. Are you really still mad about it? You were the one wearing a dress that was so short, your ass cheeks were hanging out. You were alone, talking to different guys while they looked down your dress. If you didn’t want to be treated like a whore, maybe you shouldn’t have acted like one.”

  Her eyes got so big, I thought they’d pop. “That’s no justification for what you did!”

  “I never said it was,” I snapped. “But you must be really ignorant if you think a guy is going to be gentleman if you’re parading around the bar like that. Honestly, I couldn’t tell if you were a prostitute or not.”

  “Fuck you, Mike!”

  “I’m not trying to put you down or start a war here. I’m just asking you to take down your walls and listen to me for a second without attacking me.”

  Her eyes still burned in flames but she seemed a little calmer.

  “Look. Cassandra means the world to me. I’ve spent my entire life looking for a girl that can put me in my place, render me speechless with just a word, a strong woman that doesn’t even need me to take care of her, someone so sexy it makes me want to cry, a person who is just as beautiful on the inside as the outside. And I found her. I admit I wasn’t the best guy in the world. I was a man I want my daughters to stay away from. But I realized how pathetic and depressed I was. I wanted to change my life, become a better man. And I am that man with Cassandra.” I stared at her face, seeing no reaction. “I really want us to get along. Cassandra always speaks so highly of you and says you’re important to her. And if you mean that much to her, then I better get my shit together. I’m not asking you to forget what I did, but please give me another chance. I really am a good guy.”

  She shifted her weight then dropped her gaze. She was thinking, but I had no idea what the course of her thoughts were. “We can try.”

  I breathed a sigh of relief. “That’s all I want.”

  She put her hands in her pockets then
swayed from side to side. “Every guy I’ve ever been withh as been a jerk, pulling the same number you did. I guess I’m tired of it. And Cassandra is a sweet girl who’s been through a lot. I didn’t want her to go through the same thing.”

  “She never will,” I said firmly. “And I’m sorry to hear that.”

  “Why is it I get the shitty version of you but she gets the perfect one?” The bitterness was in her voice.

  “I really don’t know. But I was a different person when I saw her. I was looking for a serious relationship. As a result, that’s what she got. I dated a few girls before her, but didn’t hit it off with them. So I stopped calling.”

  “And why can’t that happen to me?”

  “You want my honest thoughts?”

  She shook her head slightly. “I’m not sure…”

  “Well, I’m gonna tell you anyway. You’re hot, Zeal. There’s no beating around the bush with that. I wanted to fuck you the moment I saw you. But you aren’t going to find Prince Charming hanging out in a bar. The vultures are in there, looking for a piece of meat. They aren’t looking for the right girl, just the one to keep their bed warm for the night. I suggest you find a different hobby where you can meet better quality men.”

  “Where did you meet Cassandra?”

  “The first time I lay eyes on her, she was doing dead lifts at the gym. She wore a black sports bra that revealed her perfect stomach and gorgeous curves. Her spandex shorts showed an ass that could make a grown man cry.” She smirked at my description. “Then I saw her at work. She was sitting behind her desk, her long legs peeking out underneath. I made a total idiot of myself and rambled on about invoices. When she made me weak and nervous, I knew I wanted her. She was strong and fit, confident and smart, and just cool. The rest is history.”

  “That’s a sweet story.”

  “You’ll find it too,” I said. “You just have to respect yourself first. Cassandra made it clear she wasn’t a one-night stand kind of woman, and I respected that. I dated her for months and didn’t even kiss her. It wasn’t until I fell in love with her and she with me did I make a move for something more. I wanted her to be there the next morning. And every morning after that.”